I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
