He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
