i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
