if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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