You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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