it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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