Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
