dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
