You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
