In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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