I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You are a genius and a whore.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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