he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I am spending my child support on dildos
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
