My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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