Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
