Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
