4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
