I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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