We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
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