I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
