Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
