p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
