My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
