Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
