You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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