I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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