There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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