I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
