What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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