ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
