The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
