So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
