All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
