I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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