he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
