I murdered the dance floor call the cops
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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