She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
