I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
