oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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