I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
