Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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