Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
