Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
