How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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