He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
