I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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