I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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