His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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