we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Bring me that man meat
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
