He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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