no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize