dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
