I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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