New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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