I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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