i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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