idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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