my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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