is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
