The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
