Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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